


Poor Neji

by DrivvenWrinth, FairyNiamh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drunkenness, Humiliation, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Molestation, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Out of Character, Pre-Threesome, Sexual Humor, Somnophilia, Sorry Not Sorry, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3271862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrivvenWrinth/pseuds/DrivvenWrinth, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neji hates Mondays... too bad he has a week filled with Monday's luck. Poor Neji.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poor Neji

Poor Neji, he had the worst kind of luck. He was a cock magnet. No, _really_ he was. It was enough to make him start rethinking his views on fate (or lack thereof.)

Why was it that whenever he fell or fell asleep... wait, if he was standing up so would that still be considered falling…. Whatever, where was he? Great, he was losing his mind! Oh yeah, falling; why was it when he fell in some manner he was molested, and why was it never anyone he really wanted?

ARG, it was enough to drive any gay man straight! This past week, it had been the ABSOLUTE worst one!

On Monday, he had dragged himself home after a long and tiring training session. A training session that mainly involved trying to stay away from his scary sensei and even scarier teammate. He had caught them kissing and groping no less than three times! Sadly, those three times lead to him losing a small portion of his mind and a larger portion of whatever he had eaten in the past three years.

When he made it home, he took a thorough shower while wishing for a fifty-gallon vat of brain bleach; maybe he wondered if he should talk to Tsunade or Kakashi to see if either of them could remove the horrible images that were fried not only into his retina but his brain as well. He quickly got out of the shower dried off and went to a restless slumber.

He was having a wonderful dream, Neji was thoroughly enjoying his neck being nibbled on, and he wondered who was doing it since he had been blindfolded. At least he thought he was blindfolded. He wondered if the person touching him was good looking, though if the body matched the face he was sure the person was sexier than he was. He screamed out as his swollen member was engulfed by a warm heat, 'this must be what heaven is like,' he thought to himself.

Two sets of hands roamed everywhere over his body. He couldn’t take much more this he knew. He begged for release and to see the faces of the men, who were bringing him such great pleasure. Just when he felt himself explode the blindfold was removed and he screamed himself awake.

In a cold sweat and a dampness between his legs, he thought he had been wrong before, that was no dream, it was a nightmare as Gai and Lee were 'revealed' to him once the blindfold in his dream was removed. He didn't think he would ever be able to sleep again.

\----------------

Tuesday was better, but not by much. He was assigned to go on a short trip to Suna and meet up with the puppet man halfway there. Nothing hard about that, except Kiba had forgotten to bring his tent and it was raining. He couldn’t leave the dog man out in the rain it would have been cruel. Really, from now on he was going to opt for being cruel.

They had erected the small pup tent and Neji was never more satisfied that Akamaru had needed to stay home, something about mating and Neji was NOT going there, because he did NOT want to know about the mating habits of anyone or anything other than himself and sometimes that was questionable.

Anyway, they climbed inside and after many long minutes of pushing elbowing and many ows they managed to settle in and fall asleep. Luckily, Neji did NOT dream about the terribly frightening Dynamic Duo. However, he did dream that Ibiki was torturing him by putting an anvil on his chest making it very difficult to breath.

Finally, when he could take no more he jerked awake only to find a great big lump of dog-nin had mistaken him for a mattress. A dog-nin with something that was suspiciously NOT a kunai poking Neji in the backside! He knew it wasn’t a kunai because it wasn’t long nor sharp enough, that and Kiba was moaning!

He wanted to bang his head against a wall; sadly, there was no wall around and no way to get to a much-needed wall. He tried to sit up; only problem was his arms were pinned under him and of course, yeah he was pinned. He tried rocking back and forth hoping that Kiba would just roll off of him. This only seemed to encourage the big oaf to grind into Neji’s delectable ass harder and faster.

No matter how much Neji wiggled, bucked, and squirmed he couldn’t get free and it seemed to only increase Kiba’s pleasure, well that is if his moans were anything to go by.

“Get UP!” Neji yelled when it seemed like Kiba was starting to rut in earnest like… like… well like a bitch in heat!

“Five more minutes ma.” Came Kiba’s mumbled reply as his hips moved faster. Which made Neji shiver and feel quite ill. Who would talk to his or her mother while rutting up against someone?

“I'm NOT your MA! You STUPID IDIOT GET UP!” Neji roared.

“HINATA!” Kiba roared in completion.

“Get off of me and get off of me, RIGHT NOW KIBA!” Neji yelled full of embarrassment. It was bad enough that he had been unwillingly dry humped by this man, but to have him yell his COUSIN'S name!

Kiba was dead, that was all there was to it. That idiot must have slept with his little cousin or he was planning on it. Either way, the mutt was dead just as soon as he woke up and Neji could restore the feeling in his arms and legs.

Of course, once Kiba was awake and realized what he had done he took off at the speed of light while Neji was attempting to restore the much needed blood circulation to his extremities. Who knew that the man could move so fast? Well Neji supposed that imminent death was a proper motivation for anyone.

\----------------

Wednesday wasn’t better, not by a long shot. He never did manage to catch up with the dog-nin who deserved; no, needed to be castrated and then handed over to Tsunade for further punishment. Still, Neji could not believe how bad his luck seemed to have turned on this 'simple' trip. He had somehow managed to trip over that lunatic puppeteer's stupid puppets. Now he lay on his back tangled up in chakra strings. He couldn't help but wonder where that damn Kankurou had gotten off to. He screamed for help at the top of his lungs as he flailed about. Kankurou finally loomed into view. "What the hell are you doing Hyuuga?"

"Get me out of this. You're creepy puppets are all over me!" Neji wailed. He didn't see the look of pure mischief cross Kanky's face as the puppeteer leaned over him, pretending to try and disengage the chakra strings. Neji did become aware of a hand on his ass and began screaming again. "What are you doing, you pervert!" He yelled, thrashed, and somehow ended up on his stomach.

"It's one of the puppets hands; its caught in your pants. Hey, what's with the little skirty-type thing around your waist anyway? I've always wondered."

"You're asking me about fashion, while one of your puppets molests me?! Get that thing off me!" Neji demanded.

"The only way I can get it loose is to take your pants off," Kankurou replied with a lecherous smile.

That smile did nothing to settle poor Neji's nerves. "No way! You just want to get my clothes off, you pervert!"

The painted pervert had the gall to laugh as he informed Neji, "Look Hyuuga, I don't know what to tell ya'. You want free or not?! Maybe you actually like the way it feels."

Kankurou's chuckle really freaked him out. "Whatever! Just. Get. This. Thing. Off. Me. NOW!" He struggled a little more, until somehow the damn puppet's fingers slid between his ass cheeks. He let out a high-pitched wail and froze.

Kankurou was laughing outright now. The puppeteer's hands slid around his waist and began unbuttoning his trousers. Neji wanted to die of embarrassment. When he felt his boxers slide over his ass with his pants, he panicked. "What the hell weirdo?! My boxers aren't tangled up with the puppet," Kankurou didn't answer. Neji felt calloused hands caressing the smooth skin of his ass. "Kankurou!" He yelled.

"Even your ass is pretty Hyuuga." He didn't hear a zipper, but he definitely recognized that the soft touch on his ass was not the man's hands.

"What the hell are you doing?!!"

"Don't worry, baby. I just need a few minutes to make you feel real good," Neji felt something cold and wet hit his ass. "I'm not even gonna put it in you, this time. Bet you'll ask me to later." Kankurou pressed his hard length between Neji's ass cheeks and began sliding himself along the crease. "You are so hot. I bet the Konoha ninja can't keep their hands off you. Lucky bastards."

"Get the fuck off me right now you disgusting pervert. Go fuck one of your damned puppets!" Neji shrieked while thrashing.

This did not deter Skanky Kanky and seemed to be making the situation worse, the pervert was moaning. "Yeah, that's it hottie, move some more for me."

Neji couldn't help but feel sick and throw up a little. "Could you be any more gross?! Really?!" He'd stopped moving. He realized he was stuck and he didn’t want Kankurou to get off _on_ him. He just wanted the pervert to get off _of_ him. "Get off of me!"

"One more minute," Kanky gasped in his ear, panting heavily. He hadn't been kidding, he was really going to last only a few minutes. 'Ugh. Not only is he gross, he's quick. I suppose I should be glad for that. At least I won't have to lay here while he ruts and moans against me for hours.'

"Come on, damn it. Get off of me," Neji begged.

"One. More. Minute," Kankurou gasped as his body began to spasm and something warm and wet spurted onto Neji's ass.

"Ewww! Gross! Just Fucking Gross!" the brunette nin couldn't, not freak out. The painted puppet man had just all but raped him.

Kanky collapsed on Neji's back for a moment, before he must have decided that it might be safer to get a few feet away before he cut the chakra strings holding the handsome Nin captive.

"Thanks for a fun ride Hyuuga. We'll have to do it again sometime. I mean, feel free to look me up whenever you are in Suna," Neji felt the tension in the strings go slack and heard Kankurou running away.

"Gross. Gross. Gross," he whined. He was never coming back to Suna, ever again. He would refuse any and all missions that came this way, unless they were to kill the perverted puppeteer, and if he heard that the freak had a mission anywhere near him, he would cut off the puppet-nin’s penis, maybe he should cut off Kiba’s as well. However, at least he wasn’t Quick Draw McGraw like the freak.

\-----------------------

Thursday was just too much for the poor Nin to handle. That's all Neji could say about it. He'd gotten back to Konoha, only to be sent to the basement of the Hokage Tower to help Kotetsu and Izumo re-organize and file scrolls. Unbelievable? No, it was just unfathomable! Lady Tsunade informed him that he needed to rest before she could send him out on any more missions. It was some new health policy; that the council had ratified. So, there he was, one of Konoha's most powerful shinobi, and he was in a basement, filing papers, with two of the biggest perverted pranksters around. Nothing good could come of it. He just knew it.

"Would you two, get out from behind there, and quit goofing off? I don't want to be down here all night!" he yelled. Neji had just about had it with everyone and everything. Those two had been behind that shelf for over ten minutes, giggling and grunting.

Kotetsu's porcupine head appeared around the corner of the shelf, and not at eye level. "Well you were half right. We are getting off, but it isn't by goofing," he said as he leered at the brunette. Neji couldn't help but to feel ill.

Izumo's head appeared, just below the porcupine. "There are worse ways to spend a night Neji. Why don't you join us?"

"Damn it!" Neji cursed. It was a week for cursing it seemed. He waved a large scroll at the two slackers. "We have to get these scrolls put away!"

"Oh! Neji-kun! You guessed the next game!" Izumo's visible eye twinkled. "Ever play hide the scroll?" Izumo was supposed to be the quiet sweet one, but at that moment, he scared the hell out of Neji.

Neji backed up carefully. Well, he thought he was being careful. However, he barely brushed one of the ancient shelves and the whole damn thing tipped. He caught it, just barely. Kotetsu, a barely covered Kotetsu, was beside him a moment later, helping him set the shelf back in its place. Neji breathed a sigh of relief and sagged back into the comforting arms that were closing around him. He realized his mistake when an arousal belonging to a completely naked Izumo poked him in his, thankfully, covered ass.

He tried to pull away, but was held tight. Kotetsu loomed over them both then. "Damn, you two look good enough ta' eat," He grinned like a hungry wolf. "Of course, Neji'd look better naked."

Izumo's hot breath on Neji's ear made him squeak like a terrified mouse. "Come on Neji-kun. Play with us. We really, really, wanna play with you."

"Ack! Let me go! Let me go!" Neji flailed and struggled in Izumo's surprisingly and terrifyingly strong grip.

"And here I thought you'd be into the threesome idea," Kotetsu huffed. "It's usually the quiet ones that go for the kinky stuff."

Izumo nodded as he loosened his grip on an exhausted Neji. "Shika-kun had lots of fun with us. And Kakashi's always up for some _playtime_."

Neji stepped away, at what he determined a marginally safe distance, from the two perverts. A million miles would only be slightly safer. "Um, thank you for thinking of me and um, inviting me. But, I am, um, um, well, um not interested at this time." He could have killed himself! He'd just left the door open for them to try again. It was time to beat a hasty retreat. "I'll just let you two get back to your filing and all. I'll let myself out. Have fun I mean er, good luck...um BYE!" He turned and made a very fast strategic withdrawal. The two men were left chuckling in his wake.

The cocky bastards showed up at the Hyuuga estate two hours later with a special scroll just for him. He almost died when he opened it. Those two just were not right in the head. They really weren't.

\---------------------

On Friday, Hiashi called Neji into his parlor. Of course, the only things that Neji wanted to do upon entering was scream like a girl and run away fast and never stop running. After everything that he had been through this week, no one could or would blame him. He loved his uncle… kind of… sort of… in a very round about familial way, definitely _not_ in a sexual way!

Whatever, getting back to his Uncle and his belated attempts at being a parental figure in the absence of Neji’s father. He was relieved, only slightly mind you, when he heard what his uncle had planned. Hiashi decided the he was now old enough for ‘the talk’. Neji was twenty-one for fucks sake and Konoha’s most molested. He even had a certificate to prove it, courtesy of Izumo and Kotetsu, not that he displayed it or anything… he just had it. He didn’t need _the talk_ , he needed a damned body guard!

The first thing that Neji thought, well after the running away and screaming like a girl bit, but let’s just forget _that_ had happened, was that Hiashi was a bigger pervert than Jiraiya and Kakashi combined. There was a reason for this thought. That reason was due to the sheer amount and variety of sexual paraphernalia that had managed to squeeze into the small room.

His Uncle gave him the standard boy/girl talk. Neji was less relieved and then Hiashi picked up one of the toys and not only explained, but then _demonstrated_ how to give a woman oral sex. The poor young… errr younger man was so upset by the display that he had to rush out of the room to empty his stomach of his breakfast.

Once he had finished, and checked to make sure that his toenails hadn’t inadvertently made it up and out via his stomach, he calmly walked back in and announced to Hiashi that there was no need for their current discussion, as he was 100% homosexual.

Much to Neji’s horror, his (not so beloved) uncle then started in on lubes, condoms, dildos, proper stretching techniques, and the _best_ oral _tricks_ to drive your man insane with need. Now, if that wasn’t traumatizing enough, Hiashi, his now most hated uncle, sent him away with one of his _best and favored butt plugs_. Neji wondered how bad it would feel to boil his hand, as he wasn’t sure where _that_ had been and trust me when I say he didn’t _want_ to know!

It should be a given, that directly after he had left his evil uncle's presence, he had gotten rid of the dubious item. Then he started to look into how much it would set him back to receive his now much needed psychiatric help.

\--------------

On Saturday, the poor traumatized Neji locked himself in his room until after lunch. Only his bladder threatening to burst made him leave his safe haven. On his way back to his room he decided two things; the first being that he should have gone ahead and let his bladder burst and the second being that he needed a very strong drink, _away_ from the Hyuuga compound. These decisions came after he heard the evil Hiashi giving Hinata the same talk that he had received the day before. There were some things, which he never needed or wanted, to know about; his cousin’s sex life was one of those things.

He made his way to the edge of the town and into La Guillotine. A bar of questionable repute. Certainly not a place where Neji would be a patron. So in his mind it was _the_ perfect place to hide from anyone who might be looking for him.

He went into the bar, ordered a cheap bottle of sake, and went to the darkest corner he could find. You would think that after the trauma he had endured in the past week, he would have had enough forethought to, at least, face the door. Check the exits, so that if needed, he could make a quick escape.

These were simple everyday rules; that every ninja followed. If you didn't follow them; you could wind up dead or wishing you were dead. Today, Neji was simply wishing for death as Konoha's most curious couple slipped into the booth with Neji.

No one, including Neji, could figure out how the couple got together, let alone stayed together. They were polar opposites, but it seemed to work, and if Neji were to be honest with himself, he was envious of their relationship.

"Hey Neji, why are you over in the slums, with the common people?" Naruto asked with a wide grin as he beckoned the barmaid over.

Neji took another drink of his warm sake trying to stall in answering. "Escaping," he finally said with a sigh.

"Same," Shikamaru replied in kind as Naruto ordered three more bottles of sake.

"Expecting company?" Neji questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"No, just offering you a drink. We're intruding on your brooding, after all. Hey, would you like to go to the hot springs after we finish up here?" Naruto smiled brightly and overly innocently. Which did set off a few alarms in Neji's mind.

"Idiot," Shikamaru hissed as he kicked Naruto's shin. "Just ignore him Neji."

Neji surprised both of them (and himself) by shrugging his shoulders and actually agreeing to go with the duo. He didn't know what they would do with him, but he would be a liar if he didn't kind of hope, that they would at least include him in some of their well-known public cuddles.

It had been a shit week and he could use a few cuddles. Once all the sake was gone, they made their way... somewhere. Neji might have been more than a slightly intoxic... enebri... drunk, but he felt so good. He didn't give a fuck about anything. Hell, he didn't even care when the sexy duo took him out into the woods, obviously away from the bathhouse.

"I never said bathhouse, Neji. I asked about hot springs." Naruto chuckled as he wrapped his bronzed arms around Neji's waist.

That made Neji pause and wonder if he was asking this all out loud.

"Okay, maybe we should take him back to our apartment instead. We wouldn't want him to drown. Changes of plans, your highness. You get to come to our house and sleep it off. Maybe tomorrow, Naruto and I can ask you to join us, without alcohol. If I had known he was such a lightweight when it came to drinking, I would have never agreed to your crazy ass plan." Shikamaru complained as they changed their course.

"You two, are so sexy. Makes me want to hurt it. Not fair. Wow, that cloud looks like the butt plug my uncle gave me. My uncle, he's evil and destroys innocent minds with talks about sex. You're lucky Nar, no evil uncles to talk about sex," Neji mumbled.

Naruto laughed at Neji's drunk ramble. "I have something worse, I have an Iruka to give me the talk... and then Kakashi, Genma, Jiraiya, _Tsunade_ , and _then_ Shikamaru's parents; all vying to be the one to tell me everything I would ever need to know about sex. Can you imagine a sex talk from any of them? It was a scary time. Shikamaru only had his parents and Iruka."

"So, he's the lucky one?" Neji thought on it and cocked his head to the side.

Shikamaru snorted at the question. "Yeah, as lucky as any gay man being told the pleasures of gay sex, by a woman and a blushing teacher. My dad just went out and got drunk."

"None of us are lucky. That's sad. Why do we have no luck?" Neji questioned leaning heavier on Naruto.

Naruto noticed the older man's eyes start to droop and needed to know, "You sleepy Neji?"

Neji yawned and nodded in answered.

"Right, hang tight," Naruto, ordered as he lifted Neji in a bridal hold. If the pale man had any pride left, it was effectively obliterated, as he was carried through town, to their house. He would worry about it tomorrow. Right now, he just wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck and enjoyed being held in the arms of someone he actually liked.

So, overall, Neji couldn't complain about Saturday. If molestation happened, he was too drunk to remember it. Evidently, he was also too drunk to remember anything past the first few steps out of the bar.

\-------------------

When Sunday rolled around, several things clicked into place, all at once. First, he wasn't home. Second, he was not wearing his own clothes. However, someone had at least thought to put him in some pajamas whenever they had put him to bed. Third, was that he wasn't alone. He was alone in the room, but he could hear someone talking just beyond the shut door. Sadly, the door effectively muffled the voices. The sound reminded him of the teachers in the old Peanut's cartoons.

He quickly sat up and then, instantly regretted it. He had never been hung over before. Now he understand why the older Jounin complained about the noise from their young students after ‘tying one on’. He was thankful for two things at that moment. The first was that it was a Sunday or at least he hoped it was Sunday and that meant he had no brats to kill/teach.

He did his best to ignore the pain in his throbbing head as he crawled to the door. Hoping he would be able to figure out if this was a kidnapping situation or something else. If it was a kidnapping situation maybe he could discover his captors and plan his escape. Not that escaping would be all that difficult, there were no explosive tags and he wasn't even tied up. 'Please, do not let this be a hostage situation. I hate the thought of being kidnapped by an idiot.'

He made his way to the door and closed his eyes, doing his best to concentrate on the voices despite the pain.

"I told you to leave him alone," someone hissed.

"Oh, come on Shika, I just want to make sure he's sleeping well," person B whined, identifying person A (Shika). Neji was more than a little shocked and was almost certain that person B was Naruto, the blond’s voice was very recognizable.

Shikamaru snorted, "You mean you wanted to molest him."

"No!" Neji could just picture Naruto's face going red as righteous indignation colored the other young man's voice. "At _most_ I would have touched his face to check his body temperature and - okay, I might have fondled his hair some. It's so totally not my fault that it's so soft."

Neji had to roll his eyes at Naruto's whiny tone. It was comforting to know that the extent of Naruto’s intended molestation would have been limited to fondling his hair. Which was tame compared to his previous molestations.

"Besides, he's out of my league and I know you like him," Neji almost missed Naruto's muttered confession.

"Tch, troublesome. How many times do I have to tell you I am not dumping you for Neji? Anyway you like him too," Shikamaru grumbled.

Naruto just nodded. "I think we need him in our lives and I will accept his friendship, if that is all he wants. I'll also accept it if he just wants you. I want you both to be happy and you know me, I’m tough. I can handle it."

Shikamaru snorted loud enough to startle Neji. "Yeah, well I'm greedy. If he doesn't want us both, then he gets neither of us. Sorry, it took me two years to snag you and you know how I feel about wasting my time and effort."

"Oh, you snagged me, huh? I thought I was the one doing the snagging," Naruto said, obviously teasing the lazy nin.

"I let you think that. Come on, let's go and check on our guest, _together_."

"Okay, okay, I get it. We'll do it together.” There was a sharp intake of breath and an shaky sigh. 

“Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"I like Neji. I like him… a lot, but if you're not 100%..." the blond started.

"I'm on board Naruto. Now, let's find out if he's on board."

Neji scurried away from the door and sat on the bed nibbling his lip. They wanted him. They _wanted him_. The fact was worth the repetition. This was definitely something he wanted. He pinched himself to see if he was dreaming. The pain in his arm certainly felt real, but maybe the Uchiha bastard had him trapped in an illusion. Maybe he only thought it was real. That would really suck.

The duo opened the door and Neji was sure he was dreaming. Both of the men were smiling and looked _happy_ and _hopeful_ when they saw he was awake.

Shikamaru eventually snorted and shook his head. "Been awake long?"

Neji just shrugged and tried to keep from blushing. From Naruto's following chuckle he could tell that he had failed rather spectacularly.

Naruto walked right up to him, reached out his hand to touch Neji's hair, then dropped it and took a step back. "I think you heard everything. I think you know how much we want you. You might even know how long we've waited for the chance to tell you. So, you have us at a disadvantage, Neji. You know a lot more than we know. Now, the ball is in your court. Would you like to have us? Before you say yes, you have to know we're a package deal, right? You have to take us both, or neither of us. What do you say? Two for the price of one!" The joke fell a little flat, he was nervous and fidgeting a bit.

Shikamaru sighed and hit the blond man on the back of the head. "He's crass, even if he is truthful. Look, even if you don't want _us_ , we still want to be friends. This is a no pressure deal. Either way, no grudges will be held."

Neji sat there debating with himself. He would admit to being attracted to both men, but he wasn't sure how a relationship like that would work. Was it possible to love two people and maintain a sense of balance and harmony, much less to such _unique_ people?

"We're Nin Neji. None of the Nin are completely sane. Both Naruto and I have been attracted to you since we first got together. We just didn't know how to approach you on the subject. We know that some people consider it taboo, having more than one partner in a committed relationship. That’s what we want from you and that’s why we’re asking you in private. If you want time to think on it we understand and we’ll try to be patient." Shikamaru gave Naruto a sideways glance at the end of his explanation. Naruto made a slight face. Patience wasn’t his strong suite.

Still, Naruto stood beside him and nodded his head worrying the pad of his thumb between his teeth. Neji looked between the two men and wondered if it would be worth the risk. He had heard of the term safety in numbers, but he doubted that the original person had meant for it to be taken in this manner.

"Listen, don't decide right now. You probably have a hell of a hangover. Why don't we head to the hot springs we were supposed to go to last night? Give you a chance to clear your head and maybe help you make up your mind," Naruto offered.

"I'll even make sure this ass doesn't molest you," Shikamaru offered.

Before Neji realized it, he was nodding his head in agreement. However, in the darkest part of his mind, he there shimmered a glimmer of naughty hope that perhaps, _he_ could molest Naruto and maybe even get a little grope or two in on Shikamaru. He wasn't a pervert by nature. He just wanted to see why people thought molesting someone was such a... _fun_ thing to do.

"Do we need to stop by your place so you can get some trunks or anything? We don't want you to feel all _vulnerable_ around us," Naruto questioned while wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Ouch!"

"We promised no molesting," Shikamaru snarled as he rubbed his hand. Clearly, he had hit the blond man harder than he had intended.

"I was hitting on him, not molesting him. I never promised no verbal attacks" Naruto replied pouting.

Shika held up his finger and took a deep breath, preparing to chastise his blond lover before deflating. "You're right. We never promised to keep silent. I'll leave the verbal assaults to Naruto. I'm just gonna sit back and ogle you. I really hope you like going ‘au natural’ in the springs. Naruto just _loves_ to sunbathe. Maybe you can _rub_ some oil _all over_ him. Come out when you're ready to leave. I'm sure we'll have a very enlightening time."

"I thought you were leaving the verbal attacks to Naruto?" Neji teased.

Naruto tugged his boyfriend from the room. "The ball is in your court Neji. You can leave out the back door and Shika and I will understand. We won’t make try to seduce you again. You could also leave with us out the front door and we can move forward. I really hope you do. I really want to see where we all end up, together. You know which one we want you to choose, but we won't push you into anything."

Neji sat there staring at the closed door. They had given him a choice. They hadn't forced themselves on him, like all the others (not really.) Certainly, they had hit on him and that hadn’t been remotely unpleasant. Actually, it had given him a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest and a sharp tingle further south. They had been honest and stated upfront what they wanted from him; and were now waiting for his permission to _claim_ him. It was refreshing and a little frightening.

He stood from his pallet and donned the clothes they had left for him. Then, for the first time in a week, he was able to make a decision. It felt very empowering. This decision was purely his, and he felt wonderful as he walked out the front door. He was looking forward to seeing where things would go with the pair. Surely it would be entertaining to say the very least.

~Fin~


End file.
